welcome to:




background on this little experiment:

1.) i totally ripped this idea off of the folks at ohmygoditburns.com

2.) i did this by myself on a lonely saturday night. ( i swear i had a friend lined up to do this with me, and last minute excuses about a boy didn't allow for her to come over, typical)

3.) i waited (for the tasting ) untill my roommate came home, so that i could have 2 opinions instead of my own.

4.) i bought the "albertson's, sav-on, osco premium vodka" for the experiment.

5.) i had some smirnoff vodka from a beforehand festivity

6.) the brita filter was new, and properly conditioned before the experiment was performed

7.) i'm a loser, this is simply validation


to start this experiment i wrote a list of those things that i would be needing for a night of intense scientific experimentation.
my list as follows: shittiest vodka possible, brie, crackers. i purchased those three things for a total of $16.49 after tax and ca crv. the brie [cheese] was 5.00. the vodka, $8.99 with my albertson's super special shopper discount club card.
the vodka came in a very economical plastic bottle. the flattering yet informative label included information such as "produced from 100% grain neutral spirits" and "charcoal filtered". i also noticed "bottled exclusively for albertson's inc., boise, idaho 83726 by leveke corporation, mira loma, ca 91752".
the smirnoff bottle also reads the word "premium" on the bottle, however underneath "premium" it boasts "triple distilled" in a cute cursive-like font. "distilled from premium grain" and "ten times filtered in a unique process for ultimate clarity" also read on different labels of the smirnoff bottle. when purchasing the albertson's premium vodka i took note that a 1.75 litre bottle of smirnoff vodka would have set me back 18.99 at this particular albertson's on this night.


my assumptions are as follows:
1.) the albertson's vodka was distilled once, and then charcoal filtered, from non premium grains. I use this assumption because it says "produced from 100% grain neutral spirits" and neutral spirits are produced through a process of distillation. the vodka says charcoal filtered on it without specifying how many times leading me to assume it was only once.

with that i formulated a hypothesis:
if i were to charcoal filter the premium vodka 9 more times, how similar in taste/smell would it be to the smirnoff vodka (since smirnoff is filtered ten times in a "unique" process)?

i timed each filtering process, starting at 11:30pm (earlier would have been much better)
each filtering process took from 25-30 mins. (half and hr to filter once through, i filtered 9 times, and started at 11:30pm, let's do the math)
4 1/2 hrs later i was ready for bed, not vodka tasting.

i set out 2 glasses and pured a 1/2 shot worth into each glass. one had the label "smirnoff" underneath it, and the other with the number #0. the albertson's premium vodka went into the glass with the #0 underneath it for zero times filtered by me.

after setting out 9 clean glasses and labeling each glass with a number of #1-#9, i was ready to start flitering.

i started up with filtering at precisely 11:21pm on march 26th 2005. 1.75 litres of albertsons's premium vodka was poured into my BAB (big ass brita), as i opened the cheese and triscuts... this first filtering experience was enjoyable yet much slower than anticipated. i decided to watch the kevin smith movie mallrats. 11:54pm, 1.75 litres of premium vodka passed over the brita filter.

with three 1/2 shots of vodka (smirnoff, #0, and #1) poured, i decided to make some observations. there was no tasting in these observations, and i had not had a drink of alcohol in the previous 24 hours so i was very sensitive to the aromas each alcohol had. the newly filtered #1 specimen smelled exactly like the #0, and the smirnoff no different. all had a very alcohol-ish smell to them.

i filtered on through the night, slowly devouring my cheese and crackers... i was starting the #6 filter at 2:04am and ran it until 2:31am. i was watching kevin smith's mallrats movie again, this time with the commentary feature turned on.

1/2 shot number #9 finished filtering at 3:53am, i had watched mallrats two times back to back and was ready to put my back against a lonely matress. i covered the glasses to avoid debris contaminating my specimens and hit the sack.

day 2, vodka challenge! here we go, my roomate arrives from his night out with the girlfriend and we decide it's time to taste some filtered vodka. i first look at each glass. appearance wise i cannot tell if there is any difference. the vodka behaves the same way when swirled around and then set still, beads form on the edges of the glass.
there was no smell distincion between the smirnoff, #0-#9. all smelled like alcohol.
i then sipped the smirnoff, a small sip similar to the first sip taken of a freshly poured cup of tea. the taste was smooth, and rather tasteless. with no triscut or cheese i quickly tried a smiliar amount of the #0 (straight from the premium bottle) and almost gagged. no i did gag, it had two elements that the smirnoff didn't have. the first to hit me was the taste, awful. the actual flavor of the albertson's premium vodka was that of an earthy dirt grime taste. i didn't enjoy it. immediately following that flavor was a rough burn that the smirnoff also lacked.

this was time for me to make good use of the cheese and triscuts that i had been gnawing on the night before. i slapped a piece of brie on the cracker and flushed the burning dirty taste of albertson's premium vodka out of my mouth.

on to #1! i tasted the #1 vodka and was not surprised to have that same dirty earth taste that i had found so repulsive in #0. the sip was a tad bit smoother than #0 as i soon came to find out because i then tasted #0 and found the flavor was the same but the gaging burn sensation was a fraction less in #1.

#2 was considerably better than #0. definitely not as crisp as the smirnoff but it was a night and day difference.

#3 was similar to #2, much better than the #0 and #1 but hard to tell the difference between #2 and #3.

#4 - still the flavor remains... the gritty, earthy, dirty flavor that is invisible in the smirnoff remains while the alcohol is much smoother.

at #7 i felt a phenominal change since our buddy #0. the smoothness was unreal, although the flavor is still apparent. i had hopes of the flavor leaving the vodka but i don't think it will happen.

#9 had no noticeable differences to #8 or #7. #9 was definitely not the same quality taste of the smirnoff sample.


in conclusion:
this was fun to do and i would reccomend doing this with different types of alcohols and with friends. if i were still in college i would have been doing this once a week for two reasons. money will be saved and time is something that college students have plenty of.
the many hours i spent filtering the vodka were not worth my $10.00 difference in price from the smirnoff. the smirnoff also tastes better even after 9 filter attempts. maybe next time i'll distill this 2x and then give it a filtering thru to see if the dirty taste escapes the vodka.
when i drink vodka i usually have it with a mixer or two such as cranberry and lime, or oj and midori and i enjoy the drink. with the dirt-vodka taste in the background i just don't enjoy the drink as much.
voka like this would be ok if i were to take shots of it and then immediately chase it with something to rinse the earthy flavoring out of my mouth. again, something i wish i had done in college.

in all, i had fun, and spent well under $20.00. i also learned all the behind the scenes trash about mallrats seeing as i watched the deleted scenes as well.